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My Redeemer Lives

Orvieto, Italy

I like to describe my brain as something that has way too many tabs open - and I seriously have no idea where the music is coming from. The incessant thoughts are never-ending and constantly flowing. Perhaps this is part of being a 7 on the enneagram, being a millennial, or maybe even being ADHD - who knows. The point is that my mind never shuts off. This can be used to my advantage. I am able to think quickly and come up with new ideas without much effort. The flip-side is that I can easily overthink to the point of insanity.

The other day, I was reading in Psalm 139. The most common verse that I'm sure most of y'all can instantly think of is, Psalm 139:14 - "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." This verse is seen time and time again all over social media, Pinterest, and girl's captions on selfies. Why? I'd say because it helps to bring some peace. Peace over what? Peace over how we are made, maybe? I'd have to say insecurity. 

Insecurity is something that I know we all have dealt with at some point in our lives. Could it be insecurity over your weight? Possibly it is insecurity over relationships or family situations? The sad reality is that there is always something to be insecure over. Google defines "insecurity" as, "uncertainty or anxiety about oneself, or lack of confidence." I've always wondered: "How do I battle insecurity?" If we are anxious and lacking confidence in ourselves, I can't help but think that it's not a "figuring out us" problem, it's an "understanding who God is" problem. How can we be confident in who we are, if we don't fully know Who created us? 

The worldly answer is, self-help books, doing "you", and trying to boast yourself up to be the "best" version of you that you could possibly be. The Christian answer is, God. As Christians, we know that "we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength", right? But, what if it's more than that? We too often will use small spinets of scripture and a blanket statement of "God will take care of this" to try and battle our insecurities. Don't get me wrong, we need God. We need scripture. However, we also need a whole heck of a lot more of both of those things to fight our battles of the mind.

Blanket statements of Christ and buffet line Christianity will not solve all of our problems. It takes an in-depth look at the heart, identifying the lies we are believing, and most importantly - a deep understanding of who God is. 

Friends, I've "known" God since I was a child. I've known God for the last couple of years, and it is the most beautiful relationship I've ever been in. There is a huge difference in knowing something and then truly understanding who you are in a relationship with. That's what walking with Jesus is - a relationship.

I'd like to let y'all in to a little bit of my life: The last two/three weeks, I have been fighting insecurity hard. The enemy and my flesh have been attacking me with lies that I'm not good enough, people don't understand me, that my personality is too much, that I need to police my actions so I don't upset those around me, and that my weight defines me. These lies have led my thoughts to spiral into questioning the Creator of the universe why He made me this way

I'll be honest when I say, in knowing all of these lies, I've kind of just sat there not really knowing what to do with all my emotions. Earlier this week, I received an email from one of my favorite devotional resources, Well Watered Women, and it contained a blog post with 20 spiritual writing prompts. I love writing, so instantly I wanted to take part in this. There is something so beautiful about taking time to get what's in your brain out on paper. The second day prompt was, "Who is God prompting you to pray for today?" Annnnnnnd I just realized that I totally misread that as, "What is God prompting you to pray for today?" LOL - Let's just roll with it, team. I dug deep, let out a lot of frustration, and just talked to God because I felt like He was calling me to pray intentionally over my insecurities and press in to who He has called me to be. This journal prompt led me to Psalm 139 and y'allllllllllllllllll, I just let that Psalm sink in deep. I felt that the Lord led me to the conclusion that battling insecurity starts with a deep understanding of who God is. 

So, how do we know who God is? Well, this is something I'd love to walk alongside y'all with. There's no way we can ever fit all of that into one blog post, so we're going to break it up into a lot of different ones. Over the next few weeks, we are going to take a look at who God is and what scripture says about Him.

We cannot fully understand who we are, if we don't know whose we are.

In preparation for this upcoming study, I'd encourage you to take time and pray for God to reveal to you the lies that you are believing. Write out your insecurities and write out questions you have about God. Keep those in a safe place because we'll be coming back to them later. 

Colossians 3:16 says, "Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you." I pray this week that you make time for your Creator and are able to let His word dwell richly among you. Take time to journal, take time to pray, and create time for God. All He wants is for you to draw close to Him. I can't wait to explore who God is, together. There is true beauty to being fully known and fully loves - Christ gave us that opportunity by His death on the cross. Because of Calvary, we are free to sit at the feet of the Creator of the universe and speak with Him freely. Do you get that, friend? Do you understand that because of Christ, we can talk to God. It's truly a gift that so often misuse. That's fine if you don't know yet, let's learn about who God is, together.

"For I know my Redeemer lives and that in the end, he will stand on the earth." - Job 19:25

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